How Do I Help a Cult Member? – The Dos and Don’ts

The Dos

  • DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if there is little response.
  • DO express sincere love for the cult member at every available opportunity.
  • DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult.
  • DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said.
  • DO keep copies of all written correspondence from you and the individual.
  • DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult.
  • DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments.
  • DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question.
  • DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation.

The Donts

  • DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem.
  • DO NOT say:”You are in a cult; you are brainwashed”.
  • DO NOT give money to the member of the group.
  • DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families.
  • DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member.
  • DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year.
  • DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member.
  • DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs.
  • DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member.
  • DO NOT antagonise any of the cults leadership or members.
  • DO NOT be persuaded by a cult specialist to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications.
  • DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
  • DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members.